Extreme Home Make-Over: Secrest Adoption Edition

Well it has finally happened. It took 10 long weeks, but we are officially Dossier To China!

When Larry and I began this process 6 months ago we had to learn a whole new alphabet. In fact, Larry is still learning, God love him!:) I thought it might be fun to school you on the acronyms of China adoption, beginning with DTC.

DTC- Dossier to China: large packet of paper work including legal and government documents, as well as your home study review with your social worker, pictures, fingerprints, etc. that is authenticated by a couple of government agencies and then sent to China.

LID- Logged-in date: after you are DTC it takes a few weeks to be logged in to China's system so that you can start receiving referrals or files of waiting adoptive children in China.

LOI- Letter of Intent: when you have received a file of a child you are ready to adopt, you send an official letter of intent for that child to China

PA- Pre-approval: you then receive pre-approval from the Chinese government acknowledging your intent. You have not been officially approved to adopt this child, but it's really close.

LOA-Letter of Approval- eventually you receive an official Letter of Approval from the Chinese government and will soon receive your TA.

TA- Travel Approval: once you receive travel approval you usually travel within about two weeks!

Now the moment you've all been waiting for...but not really.

I don't know that we should call this blog post Extreme Home Make-over, though there is definite demolition, moving of walls, doors, electrical, etc., going on. "This Old House" is probably more appropriate. Over the 12 years we have lived in this 1968 bi-level, my hubby has been able to morph it into a wonderful little nest for these AZ Cardinal fans (with the help of my dad and some friends!)

Larry, my dad and a good friend have made some great headway on the current home renovations, which are helping make more room for Little Birdie number 3. We actually completed a secret project upstairs that Larry wont' let me share photos of yet, but downstairs is coming together slowly and surely. Every weekend we make more headway, and I am thankful for the time we have to work on it!

The first project we have been working on is to put down new flooring throughout the entire basement. Currently, the flooring in the family room/office area is finished, but the flooring for our new bedroom, bathroom and laundry room will have to wait as the men reconstruct walls, closets and doorways. Below is a picture of the closet and doorway in our current playroom. This pic is actually from when we moved in 12 years ago. The closet and doorway are being reconstructed to make a new entrance into our new master bedroom.

On the left is a picture of the closet doors and doorway before demolition. On the right is some of the re-framing that has happened over the last week and a half. You can see the doorway has been recessed into the room and the old closets ripped out. There is a new pocket door going into our furnace room. 

Below you will see a picture of our new laminate wood floors. This is a picture from when the floor was only half done. We are so thankful to have gotten rid of the 8 year old carpet!! It was well worn, burned, and stained in different places. 

New Beginnings are wonderful, aren't they?

As we have taken time to clean out: throw away, give away, sell and relocate items in our home, I feel a weight being lifted. Living in a mess of construction for any length of time can be unsettling. God has been speaking to my heart during this process. Even as Larry and I were on our hands and knees RE-laying parts of the floor, I was well aware of how the messes of life can ruffle my feathers. Jesus has been teaching me to embrace the messiness of life. And I don't mean sawdust. 

                                       Adoption is messy.

Though I have an amazing Adoption agency that seeks to streamline the adoption process in every way possible, there are still bumps and glitches, and government closings, and technicalities, and re-sendings, and missed details, and misinformation somewhere along the way. If I had any illusion of control in my life (and I had grand illusions, let me tell you), God in his great mercy and grace has used this process to free me from said illusion.

                                 The Challenges are Real.

Our agency does a beautiful job of preparing us adoptive families for the difficulties and realities ahead in the absolute best way possible. They train and equip and hold your hand every step of the way. And yet, Larry and I realized we were in denial. In our desire to be positive and hopeful and focus on "the joy set before us," we have secretly been avoiding the fact that things are going to be

                                   Really, really messy.

The truth is, when you adopt a child from a foreign country (and even from your own country) you may encounter language barriers and cultural differences, and speech delays, and malnutrition, and attachment difficulties, and fear. Oh so much fear. Fear of abandonment. Fear of conditional love. Fear of not knowing where their next meal is coming from, or if it will be enough to satisfy your hunger. There will be tantrums and meltdowns and sleep deprivation from the child and the parents! Oh what a first year we are in for! But we can't help but think, and really, really know, that it is all worth it.

 Paul said we share in the sufferings of Christ that we might also share in his glory. Nothing truly beautiful ever grows without suffering. "For the Joy set before him, he endured the cross." (Hebrews 12:2) There is no beauty of salvation without the pain of the cross. No new life, without death. And we have been called to die to ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. Jesus even said in John 12:24, "Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." 

James writes in 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Darn it, if the gospel isn't just super-duper messy. And he is calling me to roll up my sleeves and get dirty.

The beauty of salvation comes after the pain of the cross, the beauty of Spring comes only after the cold death of winter, and the beauty of a home renovation only comes after a great, big, ugly mess. 

And the Journey continues.....

Dossier to China...almost

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14


I'd be lying if I didn't say I am a little disappointed. I know the timing in this adoption process is never precise and can often take much longer than expected. I should really have no expectation at all, but I did. I really hoped our immigration papers would be authenticated and back to our agency by the end of this week. I just learned that it is nowhere near being done, probably because of the holidays.

I know God's timing is perfect and I believe there are reasons we may never know as to why at this point in the process things are moving slowly. It is very possible other parts of the process will go more quickly, but for now, we will just have to busy ourselves with other things.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE
January has become one of my favorite months of the year! What was once a cold, depressing, post holiday season month, God has made a month of celebration for our family!

• On January 16, 2003, atop the Grand Canyon, Larry asked me to be his wife. 
• One year later, January, 17, 2004, he made it so when we were married at my home church 
• On January 17, 2006 we moved into our first (and only) house!
• Next week we will celebrate 12 years of marriage doing one of our favorite things: Home renovations!! Stay tuned for before and after pics! 
• This January I hope we will also experience an exciting family event:                                 Getting our Dossier to China!!

• 

  January 16, 2003

  

  January 17, 2004

  

  January 17, 2006

WHAT'S NEW WITH THE GIRLS?

Olivia is currently getting over a nearly two week stint with Pneumonia. This is certainly the sickest either of my kids has ever been, and it has me thinking of our daughter in China and the many sons and daughters there yet to find their forever homes. So many of them experience sickness as an every day reality. Can't wait to see her little face and give her the name we have prayed over and chosen for her, that she may walk in its blessing for her!

Olivia is a very resilient child who does not want to slow down one bit. She lives in denial of any and all limitations put on her. I love her spunk and can-do attitude. Almost nothing gets this kid down. I have enjoyed laughing with her through this sickness. She is a blessing to me. This week we bought new bedding to go on her and Little Sister's bunk beds. She is super excited about the upcoming home renovations, but even more excited about having a new sister!!

Trying out her new "China buns" with her new baby on Christmas day

Mackenzie turned 9 years old just after Christmas and is growing into an incredibly beautiful young lady, inside and out. She is full of poise and kindness and models great responsibility. In case you haven't already heard, this is the year of the Panda at our house. Mackenzie has begun collecting all things Panda and enjoyed many Panda-themed gifts for her birthday and Christmas, as well as a very special Panda birthday party. As I write this blog, Olivia and I are watching Kung Fu Panda and anticipating the release of the 3rd film at the end of this month. Of course all these Pandas make me think of our daughter in China. Mackenzie, who was hesitant of the idea of adoption just 6 months ago, is now really looking forward to meeting and loving her new little sister. She loves helping make plans for her sister's bedroom and is insistent on picking out the perfect toy box with Little Sister's name on it.

Meet Mackenzie's pandas: Cookie, Muffins, Mandy, Bamboo, China, Fortune and Tau Tau

UPCOMING ADOPTION STEPS

January 31: final grant application

February: Home renovations/ reviewing files of children

March: Crossings adoption training in town

April: Yard Sale fundraiser

And Little Sister makes T

As we enter the NESTING season, I look forward to the day when I can tell you not only that our dossier has gone to China, but that we have been matched with our forever daughter!

Thank you for journeying with us.

Entering the Second "Trimester"

Well we have finally arrived! It is time for the "feel-good" trimester. The time where you start to feel like things are getting a little more real. The trimester where we would typically have an ultrasound to determine the sex of our baby, maybe even getting a 3D picture of the little one growing in my womb. But this trimester is going to have a little different feel!

Month One: NOVEMBER

Our home study is officially in review and will be complete, supposedly, within a week. In November we will send off our first Grant Application, apply for immigration, and collect all official documents needed for our dossier.

Please Pray

We are applying for a grant with the JSC foundation. This is a wonderful grant that could cover well over $6,000 in adoption fees, unrelated to travel costs. Please pray that we are not only awarded a significant amount of grant money, but that we would receive the money BEFORE our next agency fee is due (when our dossier is sent to China). That way the money can be applied toward that fee, and others unrelated to travel, which is the bulk of our remaining expenses.

Month Two: DECEMBER

In December one of two things could happen. Our immigration could come back at the very beginning of the month and we could be DTC (Dossier to China)!! If this happens, we could be Logged in and start receiving referrals of our daughter by Christmas (what a gift!) The other thing that could happen is that we could be waiting on immigration well into the month of December and send our DTC more towards the end of the month.

Please Pray

We would love to have immigration go through in just 4 weeks time and get DTC as soon as possible! Please pray things go swiftly, but mostly pray for God's perfect timing. Remember, the grant money could possibly line up with agency costs associated with this timing!

Month Three: JANUARY

The final month of this trimester is a mystery. More than likely we will still be receiving referrals, but it would be so amazing if we would be in the official matching process at this point. This is the part of the process where we have viewed referrals, "found our daughter," sent a letter of intent to China and wait for their approval.

Thank you for reading, praying, coming and giving! God is at work. Thank you for being a part!

The First Snag and Fall Fun

Thanks for following along with us as we move closer everyday to meeting our daughter in China! If you are in a hurry, please skip down to "While we wait" to see the "Second trimester" of fundraising events!

Well we have never been so thrilled to see a month come and go! The beginning of October marked the end of our Home Study paperwork and interviews and the end of our elementary school Hike-a-thon event! After much planning and lots of help, our Hike fundraiser was a great success. And after a very chilly morning field day, God smiled on us and brought the sun for the Hike!!

We are looking forward to this new season, which ushers in cool breezes, autumn colors and favorite Fall festivities like "cabin-ing," a visit to the pumpkin patch and "Trunk r'Treating!" It also ushers in a new ADOPTION season. This is the EBB and WAIT season.

Though we finished our final interview and paperwork for the Home Study last Wednesday, we learned that we were missing some needed clearances for the states where Larry and I served as camp counselors and summer missionaries. We are now waiting an additional 3-6 weeks for clearances to come back from AL, ME, SC, FL and NM! Wow! Honestly, I am thankful, because I was starting to feel a little rushed to make payments and send off new forms. I am sure this is God's way of slowing me down and giving me his Sabbath rest. Hallelujah!

The good news is, once these forms come back, our Immigration forms are ready to go! We also have the money needed for this process already in our bank account, thanks to previous fundraisers!

Next Steps

We anticipate that our dossier will be ready to go to China by December. While we wait for paper work to go through over these next 8 weeks or so, we will be doing some intense fundraising. It costs approximately $6,000 to send our dossier to China: a little over $2,000 in fees for the actual process, and a little over $3,000 for our 3rd agency fee that is due at the same time.

Fundraising Update

During the "first trimester" of our paperwork pregnancy we raised $7,000 to cover all fees thus far. Thanks to all who donated on our Youcaring.com/teamsecrest website, supported us at the Chic-fil-A night, our Adoption-ade stand, through the Mary Kay fundraiser and by purchasing a Team Secrest tee-shirt! Totals from the tee-shirt sales and Mary Kay fundraiser will be coming in soon!

While we wait

It's time for round two of our Fundraising wave! Welcome to the "second trimester" of our paperwork pregnancy!! The goal is $6,000 to get our dossier to China. Please view the following ways you can get involved!

1. Buy Mary Kay

My friend Autumn, who hosted a Mary Kay party for me this month, has graciously extended this fundraiser through December. Just click on the link below to purchase wonderful products from Mary Kay and 40% of your purchase will go straight to our adoption funds! When you check out, be sure to type "SECREST ADOPTION" in the comments so she knows to flag the funds for us!

http://www.marykay.com/amitchell58855

2. Comedy Night Tickets are still on sale!

Please contact ASAP for tickets. The more we sell the more they will give us to sell!

3. Adoption-ade stand: October 24th from 2-4pm at our house!

Join us for an afternoon of Fall goodness featuring home-made hot chocolate, cookies, breads, scones, donuts, muffins and more! You can also purchase "S'mores" in a bag and roast them right there in our fire pit!! Mark your calendars now and get ready to stock up on your baked goods!

 

We will also be offering Rainbow Loom bracelets and our featured adoption bag tags and necklaces from Pop Top studios!

 

4. Shop Thirty-One

My friend Amanda will be hosting a Thirty-One shopping event in our honor on Tuesday night, November 17th from 7-9pm. The new Fall catalog will be available at our Adoption-ade stand if you want to browse and even place an order then! Christmas is coming! Think Thirty-One!

 

5. Adoption dinner

 

A Tuesday night dinner is in the works for Tuesday night, November 10th from 5-8pm! Mark your calendars and let us cook for you. Details to come.



Cha-Ching

Cha-Ching

I have said before that the adoption process is one that ebbs and flows. It can also be described as a "Hurry up and wait" kind of process! We are in the "HURRY UP" and "flow" part of the process. In just TWO days we will complete our final of four interviews for the lengthy home study process. This means paperwork, background checks, pictures,  and home tours for this part of the process will be done!

No sooner is this done than we will have a lot MORE paperwork to fill out for our dossier. The Dossier is a large packet of documents from the home study, as well as additional documents that must be collected and authenticated and added to the home study documents.

Please pray that we will:

• have no glitches in this next process of collecting and authenticating
• have the needed funds to complete the process and send our dossier to China.
• be approved for grants that we will begin applying for now.

God has blessed us immensely through your support and generosity over these last 3 months! We have not missed a step and are making incredible strides towards "finding" our daughter in China. Thanks to Chick-fil-A, Adoption-ade Mary-Kay, and your generosity, we will make our next large payment this week!

These next 6 weeks will be some of the most challenging in terms of fundraising. Once our immigration forms are returned to us we will be ready to send our dossier to China. At this time there will be approximately $6,000 in fees due! This seems like an astronomical feat to me! But I keep my "theme song" on repeat, "No Such Thing as Impossible" by Building 429.:) We know that God provides where he guides and that His timing is perfect! He has been faithful thus far, we will not find him unfaithful in the future!

Team Secrest t-shirts will be on sale through September 30th for $20!

"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Ephesians 1:4-5 The Message

In the meantime, we are really looking forward to our upcoming fundraiser at the Comedy Caravan! I don't know about you, but we are in desperate need of a date night AND some laughter! We would love to pack out the house with 200 of our closest friends! Would you consider getting a group together and joining us on October 16th?

Thank you for your prayers. We need them to sustain us through this process. We are hoping to have another FALL adoption-ade stand in October, in case you missed out on Labor Day! This stand will feature fall favorites like hot chocolate, pumpkin breads and apple cider donuts!

Coming Soon, just in time for Christmas shopping!

• Bottle cap necklaces and key chains by Pop-Top Studios (October)
• Thirty-One party (November)

Change for China, part 1

The adoption process is in full swing and really picking up speed. Like a kid rolling down a grassy hill, we will hit bottom before you know it, and I am just praying that all goes well when we do!:)

There are lots of changes going on around the Secrest house as we ready our hearts, our dossier (paperwork), and our home for "Little Sister!" Here are a few things we have been up to just this week!

Paperwork

• We have been working through the final hours of our required education and only have about 2 hours left to complete before our final interview on September 23rd!
• We recently added two new kittens to our family and they received proof of Rabies vaccinations this week, which are required for the Home Study.

  

  Meet Peaches and Daisy

• Yesterday we began the tedious process of grant applications. I am happy to report that my earlier discouragement with the process has turned to encouragement! Please pray that our efforts in these applications are very fruitful!!

Fundraising

•  On Monday we had a very successful first "Adoption-ade stand", which brought in $565! What a blessing, and what fun!
  
• We are continuing to sell our "Team Secrest" tshirts. Sales have been great so far but we hope to make several more before September 30 when we turn the order in.

  

  T-shirts are $20

• We are also selling tickets to the Comedy Night, which we are really looking forward to!! This fundraiser has the potential to bring in a couple thousand dollars if we pack out the house at Comedy Caravan. Please pray with us that it will be so!

  

  Tickets are $15 each. The show is October 16th at 7:15pm

• We are gearing up for our "China-themed" Mary Kay event this Thursday. Ladies will be able to try on new products, but friends and family may also order online. 

  

  Okay, Autumn promises that our make-overs won't look anything like this!;)

On the Home Front

September has been an incredibly busy month for our family as Larry gets moved into his new office at the church, back-to-school activities are in full swing, we are heading up a major fundraising event for the PTA at our kids' elementary school on October 1st, and trying to finish up the home study! In addition to this we are doing some things to prepare our home for some changes...and our family for some much needed rest!

• This week we have done some cleaning out of future yard sale items and started cleaning out our guest room. This involved moving a queen sized bed out of the house and re-doing Mackenzie's room with a full-sized bed, suitable for guests!                                                     One room make-over down, 4 more to go!!

• 

  Mackenzie moved from a twin bed to a full-sized bed!

• We are planning to do some major renovations on our lower level, which includes changing all the carpet to Pergo wood flooring. After 8 years, 3 cats, 2 kids and a dog, it was time for a change!!! This week we purchased 47 boxes of flooring. It took Larry three trips with the minivan to bring it all home. Thanks to a couple of neighbors who helped haul it all in!

  

  Out with the queen sized bed and in with the flooring boxes!
  We still have the pretty tapestry of our babies hanging up though!

• I started thinking forward to Fall break, which falls right after the Hike-a-thon fundraising event we are planning. We had intended to go tent camping this Fall, but decided we needed more of a vacation. We are super excited that we booked our first cabin this week!!! Rest and relaxation, here we come!
  

Thanks as always for following our progress and for holding us up with your prayers, your encouragement, your presence and your finances! We could not do this without your unending support. May God richly bless you on this brisk, Fall day!

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, to him be the honor and glory forever and ever, amen." Ephesians 3:20

"Paperwork Pregnant"

It's true adopting a child is not the same as carrying one in your own womb. I know, because I've carried two. Really, I had great pregnancies. No major morning sickness, weight gain or complications. A lot of heartburn, trouble sleeping, Charlie horses and feet in the ribs. Other than that, pregnancy was great!

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with Mackenzie! I couldn't wait to start feeling all the symptoms of pregnancy. I actually WANTED to be sick and fat and tired! I wanted to have cravings and intense smells and a maternity clothes wardrobe! After all, there is no such thing as being "a little pregnant." Either you are pregnant or you are not.

But these things took time. And before I was "cute and pregnant," I just felt blah and bloated. Then I heard her heartbeat. I know that should have made it feel real, but really, that could have been a sound effect. I didn't look pregnant. I barely felt pregnant. Only God knew what was going on inside my body.

And that, my friends, is where the similarities of natural pregnancy and this stage of adoption lie. I am "paper work pregnant." I am in the "first trimester," if you will. I don't look like I'm adopting. Sometimes, I don't even feel like I'm adopting. It feels more like going to school...or therapy...or a job interview...or an interrogation...or applying for the space program. I am "paperwork pregnant." I keep saying that my daughter is out there, and God knows she is- he knit her together and has ordained our lives and spaces to collide in his beautiful time. But I don't know who she is. I don't know where she is in that great big sea of 1.2 billion people, 556,000 orphans that is China.

And as we press on through paperwork, interviews and background checks we are also reaching out to our "village" to help us bring her home. This, dear reader, is where natural pregnancy and paperwork pregnancy really part ways.
It's been said, "It takes a village," to raise a child. But in the case of adoption- in the case of our adoption- it takes a village to bring a child to her forever home. While we will provide for our "Little Sister" for the rest of her life, by God's grace and provision, we must rely on the heart-promptings of others to give selflessly to bring her home to us!

So thank you. Thank you for walking with us by FAITH and not by SIGHT. We have nothing to show for our efforts.
No baby bump. No morning sickness. No ultrasound photo to say this child exists and she is ours. And yet you give, and we "praise God, from whom all blessings flow."

"Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)

"We walk by faith and not by sight."
  (2 Corinthians 5:7 )