Beneath the surface

It has been 3 weeks since we were LID and awhile since my last blog post. I feel like there has been a lot accomplished in the way of home improvements, but we don't have a lot to show for it. In the past few weeks I have shared with you the crazy amount of time it took just to put up walls in our new bedroom.

First there was some serious demolition of what existed previously. Then we had to reframe with new wood. After that we had to insulate and patch holes to protect us from the elements. Finally the walls went up, and you would think our work was done.

 But I learned, the work was just beginning. 

It took a solid week to tape, mud and sand the walls. Then we finally got primer paint on the walls and I thought for sure I could paint my walls my favorite shade of blue and call it beautiful, but all the primer paint did was expose the imperfections in the taping, mudding and sanding.

I don't mean to sound cliche, but this whole process has me thinking about the process our daughter will be going through when we finally get to call her ours. I keep watching videos of gotcha days, and seeing posts of moms in my area who are in China now and really struggling. This bonding and attaching thing is not easy. These children have been traumatized, if for no other reason than the fact that they have lived the greater part of their little lives in an orphanage. Their little lives are plagued by fear, and only perfect love can drive out that fear. (1 John)

In a different way, and on different levels, we are all plagued by fear. We have all been traumatized by sin, been offered a cheap imitation of this thing called LOVE. We have all felt unsure of our identity, carried shame, felt totally and completely alone. And so, even though I am impatient to a fault and I despise hard work, I cannot wait to love on this little girl. To offer to her the greatest gift anyone can ever offer: the Gospel of God's Grace! I pray that as we tear down the walls she has put up around her heart, that we will, in God's perfect time, see his redemptive and beautiful work in her life; that as the walls come down, his love, through us, will flow in. I am ready to lay foundation, to do the work that nobody sees, with the faith that one day, I will see her flourish. I pray that I do not grow weary in doing good, in doing this good work that is all ...

Beneath the Surface

WATCH: "Beautiful Things" by Gungor

Adoption Progress

Well we are in one of the most exciting phases of the whole process, the Matching Phase! It is also often a difficult phase of waiting. Our agency tells us it could take 3-6 months to be matched, though I have never seen it take more than four. We have to keep trusting that God's timing is perfect and just go on about life as normal. It's difficult not watching a boiling pot, ya know? 

We did find out last week that our dossier is "in translation."This phase usually takes several months, I think, and must be complete before we could receive a letter of approval (LOA) for the child we have been matched with (whenever that happens).

House Progress

Since the last time I wrote, we have finished:

•  mudding and priming the walls of the "master suite" 
• We have painted a couple of doors, as well as all the trim in the family room.
• We have done some touch up painting in the family room and...
• received our new couch!
• Larry and Dad cleaned out the closet in the new room and..
• Put in the ceiling, lights and dry wall in that closet!

By this weekend we are hoping to:

• have the doors and walls painted
• Have the closet mudded and sanded so we can paint next week

Mark your Calendars for May 13-14th for our big adoption yard sale! 

We will be accepting donations and volunteers to help work!

It's all about that base, 'bout that base(ment)-                 No Trouble

Well things are getting real, ya'll. I thought the adoption process was tedious, but good grief! Who knew changing a playroom into a bedroom was going to take so much work! Just now I was so excited that we were about to put in a new pocket door at the base of our stairs. Granted, that took some prep work, which was done weeks ago. It involved taking off an existing door jam and trim and installing a pocket door frame. This is a big deal involving both demolition and re-framing. But I had no idea the work it was going to take to finish the project. 

Waiting for the door to go in.

Here is the prep that I have been working on the last two days to get this door done:

1. First, I painted one side of the door...3 times. 

2. Second, I painted the other side of the door...3 times.

3. This door happens to have a bajillion windows in it. Fortunately it came with awesome plastic protection over the glass so you can make a big mess and then just peel it off when you are done! AWESOME! But it wasn't that easy, because we had to use a razor blade on all 4 sides... of every window...on BOTH sides of the door...to tediously pull off said plastic covering. Larry helped with this part. He totally showed me up, by the way, peeling off like 3 plastic covers to my every one. Everything's a competition with him. Show off.;)

Here's what Larry did:

1. The door is too tall for the pocket door frame, so it had to be cut off at the bottom. 

2. Then he had to drill a hole for the handle, but the door was too thick. so he had to flip it and drill on the other side too. 

3. Then he had to install the locking mechanism...whoops, cracked it...

The "unfinished" door

"Shew! I am so glad that is over!! But the frame around the door looks very unfinished? Are we just putting some trim up on that?" I asked.

"Yes, but first we have to MOVE THIS OUTLET and DRY WALL this place here, and then boom, boom, boom, and we're done," says Larry.

There is a lot of "boom, boom, boom" in this construction zone, but nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. 

Houston, We are Sealed for Containment!

So one of the main reasons this room project is such a big project is because two of the walls are outside walls and they are super-cold cinder block. Being on the lower level, the room was cold already, but I did not want to have to wear a hat and gloves to bed in the winter, so we needed to drywall over these cinder block walls. 

Bye Bye Pooh Bear.

HOLY MOLY! Do you know what goes into drywalling!!! 

Love the "space" look

1. First they had to rip out framing around windows, floor and ceiling. 

2. Then they had to put up 2x2 boards, space perfected for sheets of drywall to be nailed to. 3. Then they had to staple on insulation and tape.

4. Then Larry cut drywall to fit over NEW electric outlets and windows

5. Finally there is taping and mudding and flanges and sanding, then...

6. REPEAT!!!

Dry wall is up and mudded

So overall it has been a very productive week and weekend and we are exhausted. Can't wait to see what we get done next week. 

The good part of all this construction is that it serves as a great distraction while we wait. Here's a little update on our adoption process:

1. This week China celebrated the Chinese New Year- Year of the Monkey! The government was closed down for the whole week. Hopefully we will hear something from China in the upcoming week!

2. We heard back from one of the grant organizations we applied to that we did NOT receive a grant from them. This organization was the one I least expected to get a grant from, so there you go.:)

3. We also heard from another organization with whom our file is currently in review. They emailed us with a few additional questions. This is one of two grant organizations about whom I was most hopeful. PLEASE PRAY we find favor with these grant organizations!!! We will hear back at the end of March.

4. The second weekend in March Larry and I will attended a mandatory parent training called Crossings. We are fortunate that this conference is taking place at a local church just one mile from our house!!

5. As Spring approaches, we must think about more fundraising opportunities! Be listening for another round of t-shirt sales, a huge yard sale and another "Adoption-ade Stand!"

We are so thankful for your continued prayers and how you continue to check in on our progress!!!

Happy Love Day to your house from ours!

LIDs and Doors and so much more!

Step 2: "Logged In Date"

Well I can't hardly believe it. We waited a little bit longer to get our dossier to China because of three government holiday closings (Christmas, New Year's and MLK day). We were thrilled last week when we were finally DTC, but we knew it typically took 3 weeks to get logged in (LID), and with Chinese New Year just a few days away, we were looking at more government closings slowing down our process.                   I was ready to settle in for a "long winter's nap" and check back in come March!

This morning I was enjoying a time of worship, prayer, Bible reading and journaling at one of my favorite places. My phone ringer had been turned off for about 40 minutes when I decided I wanted to look up the Hebrew meaning of something on my phone. And then I saw it. The thing I had read about on many adoption blogs before. It makes your heart skip a beat, but only during this very special time of the adoption process. It was a missed call from my social worker! Not just one missed call, but multiple...and she had emailed me! She had a file for us to review!!!

I quickly and quietly slipped out of the room and went outside into the cool sunny morning to return her call. As I spoke with her, my husband was calling (because she had called him too). We decided, based on the limited information we had about the child, to review her complete file. Before gathering up my things and heading to meet Larry to review the file, I had a woman pray with me that we would have wisdom to discern whether or not this little girl was to be our forever daughter.

In the End...

The general information given about this beautiful little girl was incorrect and after reviewing the file we learned she was much younger than we had been told. She was precious. But we knew she was not to be our daughter. When I talk to people about the fact that we will review files and may have to turn them down, well, they think there could be nothing worse. How do you say, "no" to a needy child? However, God in all his goodness gives us much peace and joy in the process. Families hoping to bring home a little girl age 0-2 often wait the longest. I am confident that this little beauty was matched with another family this very day!!!

Renovation Progress

Last week I discussed the mess that was occurring in my house as Larry and Dad ripped out carpet and put in floors, and ripped out walls to build new ones. This past weekend some drywall went up and three new doors have gone in.

Dad ripping out the double closets

The new hallway a week ago

      These pictures show the new hallway leading into our new master         bedroom, and also the new closet framed out in our new bedroom.

     I was so thankful to see our garage cleared out as we took 4 trashcans and multiple rolls of carpet to the street yesterday! We are looking forward to another productive weekend of house projects in just a few days! Bring on the trim and more drywall!

Extreme Home Make-Over: Secrest Adoption Edition

Well it has finally happened. It took 10 long weeks, but we are officially Dossier To China!

When Larry and I began this process 6 months ago we had to learn a whole new alphabet. In fact, Larry is still learning, God love him!:) I thought it might be fun to school you on the acronyms of China adoption, beginning with DTC.

DTC- Dossier to China: large packet of paper work including legal and government documents, as well as your home study review with your social worker, pictures, fingerprints, etc. that is authenticated by a couple of government agencies and then sent to China.

LID- Logged-in date: after you are DTC it takes a few weeks to be logged in to China's system so that you can start receiving referrals or files of waiting adoptive children in China.

LOI- Letter of Intent: when you have received a file of a child you are ready to adopt, you send an official letter of intent for that child to China

PA- Pre-approval: you then receive pre-approval from the Chinese government acknowledging your intent. You have not been officially approved to adopt this child, but it's really close.

LOA-Letter of Approval- eventually you receive an official Letter of Approval from the Chinese government and will soon receive your TA.

TA- Travel Approval: once you receive travel approval you usually travel within about two weeks!

Now the moment you've all been waiting for...but not really.

I don't know that we should call this blog post Extreme Home Make-over, though there is definite demolition, moving of walls, doors, electrical, etc., going on. "This Old House" is probably more appropriate. Over the 12 years we have lived in this 1968 bi-level, my hubby has been able to morph it into a wonderful little nest for these AZ Cardinal fans (with the help of my dad and some friends!)

Larry, my dad and a good friend have made some great headway on the current home renovations, which are helping make more room for Little Birdie number 3. We actually completed a secret project upstairs that Larry wont' let me share photos of yet, but downstairs is coming together slowly and surely. Every weekend we make more headway, and I am thankful for the time we have to work on it!

The first project we have been working on is to put down new flooring throughout the entire basement. Currently, the flooring in the family room/office area is finished, but the flooring for our new bedroom, bathroom and laundry room will have to wait as the men reconstruct walls, closets and doorways. Below is a picture of the closet and doorway in our current playroom. This pic is actually from when we moved in 12 years ago. The closet and doorway are being reconstructed to make a new entrance into our new master bedroom.

On the left is a picture of the closet doors and doorway before demolition. On the right is some of the re-framing that has happened over the last week and a half. You can see the doorway has been recessed into the room and the old closets ripped out. There is a new pocket door going into our furnace room. 

Below you will see a picture of our new laminate wood floors. This is a picture from when the floor was only half done. We are so thankful to have gotten rid of the 8 year old carpet!! It was well worn, burned, and stained in different places. 

New Beginnings are wonderful, aren't they?

As we have taken time to clean out: throw away, give away, sell and relocate items in our home, I feel a weight being lifted. Living in a mess of construction for any length of time can be unsettling. God has been speaking to my heart during this process. Even as Larry and I were on our hands and knees RE-laying parts of the floor, I was well aware of how the messes of life can ruffle my feathers. Jesus has been teaching me to embrace the messiness of life. And I don't mean sawdust. 

                                       Adoption is messy.

Though I have an amazing Adoption agency that seeks to streamline the adoption process in every way possible, there are still bumps and glitches, and government closings, and technicalities, and re-sendings, and missed details, and misinformation somewhere along the way. If I had any illusion of control in my life (and I had grand illusions, let me tell you), God in his great mercy and grace has used this process to free me from said illusion.

                                 The Challenges are Real.

Our agency does a beautiful job of preparing us adoptive families for the difficulties and realities ahead in the absolute best way possible. They train and equip and hold your hand every step of the way. And yet, Larry and I realized we were in denial. In our desire to be positive and hopeful and focus on "the joy set before us," we have secretly been avoiding the fact that things are going to be

                                   Really, really messy.

The truth is, when you adopt a child from a foreign country (and even from your own country) you may encounter language barriers and cultural differences, and speech delays, and malnutrition, and attachment difficulties, and fear. Oh so much fear. Fear of abandonment. Fear of conditional love. Fear of not knowing where their next meal is coming from, or if it will be enough to satisfy your hunger. There will be tantrums and meltdowns and sleep deprivation from the child and the parents! Oh what a first year we are in for! But we can't help but think, and really, really know, that it is all worth it.

 Paul said we share in the sufferings of Christ that we might also share in his glory. Nothing truly beautiful ever grows without suffering. "For the Joy set before him, he endured the cross." (Hebrews 12:2) There is no beauty of salvation without the pain of the cross. No new life, without death. And we have been called to die to ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. Jesus even said in John 12:24, "Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." 

James writes in 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Darn it, if the gospel isn't just super-duper messy. And he is calling me to roll up my sleeves and get dirty.

The beauty of salvation comes after the pain of the cross, the beauty of Spring comes only after the cold death of winter, and the beauty of a home renovation only comes after a great, big, ugly mess. 

And the Journey continues.....

Dossier to China...almost

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14


I'd be lying if I didn't say I am a little disappointed. I know the timing in this adoption process is never precise and can often take much longer than expected. I should really have no expectation at all, but I did. I really hoped our immigration papers would be authenticated and back to our agency by the end of this week. I just learned that it is nowhere near being done, probably because of the holidays.

I know God's timing is perfect and I believe there are reasons we may never know as to why at this point in the process things are moving slowly. It is very possible other parts of the process will go more quickly, but for now, we will just have to busy ourselves with other things.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE
January has become one of my favorite months of the year! What was once a cold, depressing, post holiday season month, God has made a month of celebration for our family!

• On January 16, 2003, atop the Grand Canyon, Larry asked me to be his wife. 
• One year later, January, 17, 2004, he made it so when we were married at my home church 
• On January 17, 2006 we moved into our first (and only) house!
• Next week we will celebrate 12 years of marriage doing one of our favorite things: Home renovations!! Stay tuned for before and after pics! 
• This January I hope we will also experience an exciting family event:                                 Getting our Dossier to China!!

• 

  January 16, 2003

  

  January 17, 2004

  

  January 17, 2006

WHAT'S NEW WITH THE GIRLS?

Olivia is currently getting over a nearly two week stint with Pneumonia. This is certainly the sickest either of my kids has ever been, and it has me thinking of our daughter in China and the many sons and daughters there yet to find their forever homes. So many of them experience sickness as an every day reality. Can't wait to see her little face and give her the name we have prayed over and chosen for her, that she may walk in its blessing for her!

Olivia is a very resilient child who does not want to slow down one bit. She lives in denial of any and all limitations put on her. I love her spunk and can-do attitude. Almost nothing gets this kid down. I have enjoyed laughing with her through this sickness. She is a blessing to me. This week we bought new bedding to go on her and Little Sister's bunk beds. She is super excited about the upcoming home renovations, but even more excited about having a new sister!!

Trying out her new "China buns" with her new baby on Christmas day

Mackenzie turned 9 years old just after Christmas and is growing into an incredibly beautiful young lady, inside and out. She is full of poise and kindness and models great responsibility. In case you haven't already heard, this is the year of the Panda at our house. Mackenzie has begun collecting all things Panda and enjoyed many Panda-themed gifts for her birthday and Christmas, as well as a very special Panda birthday party. As I write this blog, Olivia and I are watching Kung Fu Panda and anticipating the release of the 3rd film at the end of this month. Of course all these Pandas make me think of our daughter in China. Mackenzie, who was hesitant of the idea of adoption just 6 months ago, is now really looking forward to meeting and loving her new little sister. She loves helping make plans for her sister's bedroom and is insistent on picking out the perfect toy box with Little Sister's name on it.

Meet Mackenzie's pandas: Cookie, Muffins, Mandy, Bamboo, China, Fortune and Tau Tau

UPCOMING ADOPTION STEPS

January 31: final grant application

February: Home renovations/ reviewing files of children

March: Crossings adoption training in town

April: Yard Sale fundraiser

And Little Sister makes T

As we enter the NESTING season, I look forward to the day when I can tell you not only that our dossier has gone to China, but that we have been matched with our forever daughter!

Thank you for journeying with us.

Entering the Second "Trimester"

Well we have finally arrived! It is time for the "feel-good" trimester. The time where you start to feel like things are getting a little more real. The trimester where we would typically have an ultrasound to determine the sex of our baby, maybe even getting a 3D picture of the little one growing in my womb. But this trimester is going to have a little different feel!

Month One: NOVEMBER

Our home study is officially in review and will be complete, supposedly, within a week. In November we will send off our first Grant Application, apply for immigration, and collect all official documents needed for our dossier.

Please Pray

We are applying for a grant with the JSC foundation. This is a wonderful grant that could cover well over $6,000 in adoption fees, unrelated to travel costs. Please pray that we are not only awarded a significant amount of grant money, but that we would receive the money BEFORE our next agency fee is due (when our dossier is sent to China). That way the money can be applied toward that fee, and others unrelated to travel, which is the bulk of our remaining expenses.

Month Two: DECEMBER

In December one of two things could happen. Our immigration could come back at the very beginning of the month and we could be DTC (Dossier to China)!! If this happens, we could be Logged in and start receiving referrals of our daughter by Christmas (what a gift!) The other thing that could happen is that we could be waiting on immigration well into the month of December and send our DTC more towards the end of the month.

Please Pray

We would love to have immigration go through in just 4 weeks time and get DTC as soon as possible! Please pray things go swiftly, but mostly pray for God's perfect timing. Remember, the grant money could possibly line up with agency costs associated with this timing!

Month Three: JANUARY

The final month of this trimester is a mystery. More than likely we will still be receiving referrals, but it would be so amazing if we would be in the official matching process at this point. This is the part of the process where we have viewed referrals, "found our daughter," sent a letter of intent to China and wait for their approval.

Thank you for reading, praying, coming and giving! God is at work. Thank you for being a part!

The First Snag and Fall Fun

Thanks for following along with us as we move closer everyday to meeting our daughter in China! If you are in a hurry, please skip down to "While we wait" to see the "Second trimester" of fundraising events!

Well we have never been so thrilled to see a month come and go! The beginning of October marked the end of our Home Study paperwork and interviews and the end of our elementary school Hike-a-thon event! After much planning and lots of help, our Hike fundraiser was a great success. And after a very chilly morning field day, God smiled on us and brought the sun for the Hike!!

We are looking forward to this new season, which ushers in cool breezes, autumn colors and favorite Fall festivities like "cabin-ing," a visit to the pumpkin patch and "Trunk r'Treating!" It also ushers in a new ADOPTION season. This is the EBB and WAIT season.

Though we finished our final interview and paperwork for the Home Study last Wednesday, we learned that we were missing some needed clearances for the states where Larry and I served as camp counselors and summer missionaries. We are now waiting an additional 3-6 weeks for clearances to come back from AL, ME, SC, FL and NM! Wow! Honestly, I am thankful, because I was starting to feel a little rushed to make payments and send off new forms. I am sure this is God's way of slowing me down and giving me his Sabbath rest. Hallelujah!

The good news is, once these forms come back, our Immigration forms are ready to go! We also have the money needed for this process already in our bank account, thanks to previous fundraisers!

Next Steps

We anticipate that our dossier will be ready to go to China by December. While we wait for paper work to go through over these next 8 weeks or so, we will be doing some intense fundraising. It costs approximately $6,000 to send our dossier to China: a little over $2,000 in fees for the actual process, and a little over $3,000 for our 3rd agency fee that is due at the same time.

Fundraising Update

During the "first trimester" of our paperwork pregnancy we raised $7,000 to cover all fees thus far. Thanks to all who donated on our Youcaring.com/teamsecrest website, supported us at the Chic-fil-A night, our Adoption-ade stand, through the Mary Kay fundraiser and by purchasing a Team Secrest tee-shirt! Totals from the tee-shirt sales and Mary Kay fundraiser will be coming in soon!

While we wait

It's time for round two of our Fundraising wave! Welcome to the "second trimester" of our paperwork pregnancy!! The goal is $6,000 to get our dossier to China. Please view the following ways you can get involved!

1. Buy Mary Kay

My friend Autumn, who hosted a Mary Kay party for me this month, has graciously extended this fundraiser through December. Just click on the link below to purchase wonderful products from Mary Kay and 40% of your purchase will go straight to our adoption funds! When you check out, be sure to type "SECREST ADOPTION" in the comments so she knows to flag the funds for us!

http://www.marykay.com/amitchell58855

2. Comedy Night Tickets are still on sale!

Please contact ASAP for tickets. The more we sell the more they will give us to sell!

3. Adoption-ade stand: October 24th from 2-4pm at our house!

Join us for an afternoon of Fall goodness featuring home-made hot chocolate, cookies, breads, scones, donuts, muffins and more! You can also purchase "S'mores" in a bag and roast them right there in our fire pit!! Mark your calendars now and get ready to stock up on your baked goods!

 

We will also be offering Rainbow Loom bracelets and our featured adoption bag tags and necklaces from Pop Top studios!

 

4. Shop Thirty-One

My friend Amanda will be hosting a Thirty-One shopping event in our honor on Tuesday night, November 17th from 7-9pm. The new Fall catalog will be available at our Adoption-ade stand if you want to browse and even place an order then! Christmas is coming! Think Thirty-One!

 

5. Adoption dinner

 

A Tuesday night dinner is in the works for Tuesday night, November 10th from 5-8pm! Mark your calendars and let us cook for you. Details to come.